The Thin Blue Line

The year was 1982.

Making the decision to move to New York at 21 wasn’t really the most favorable idea to my folks especially with all the horror stories we’d hear on the news. I lived in a small town, with small town people and small town minds. So, needless to say, when I told my folks I was moving to New York they almost dropped dead. The only thing going for me was that I was moving in with Cassie, my high school sweetheart who is now my ex, “friends with benefits”, who had been living in New York for the past couple of years. She needed a new roommate and because I was the only one she trusted, she was able to convince my rents.

November 12, 1982, was the date I chose to move. It was a significant date for me ever since I was a kid and here are two reasons why.

First, it was the birth date of Grace Kelly, one of the most important women in history in my opinion. I was obsessed with her for years. I celebrated her birthday like she was my aunt. I would have Grace Kelly parties, plastered my wall with Grace Kelly posters, etc. It was cute when I was five, but it started getting my folks weirded out as I got older. There was something about her that I felt a strong connection to. A connection that has guided me through life even today.

The second reason.

It was the first time I had kissed Cassie.

November 12, 1977.

The short story of a slow love burn.

I was a shy kid. I didn’t really have the courage to make things happen and to steal a kiss from Cassie was even more further from the truth, even though we grew up together. Our parents, were good friends, and our families had all known each other for years. They were always trying to get us together. They told us we were meant for each other. They even planned a coo.

One night, at our usual weekend family get togethers, the folks would play cards and the kids did what kids did. They convinced our friends to set up a game of ‘Truth or Dare’ and force us to get us alone so that we would kiss. I’ve always hated this game because it was a choice of telling a secret or taking a risk and I didn’t like doing either. After a few rounds, I was in the spot light. Contemplating, whether I should share a dark secret or do something I might regret. I ended up choosing the dare. That’s when they shoved Cassie and I into the coat closet. We sat there in the dark saying nothing. Then Cassie broke out saying how she also hated this game. We talked for a while about the silliness of all it all. Then she came up with a great idea. Why don’t we shut everyone up by kissing and get it over with just like that scene in Annie Hall. It made sense to me so I was all in.

Back to the main story.

We arrived at Cassie’s apartment at the Barbizon Hotel on the upper east side. The hotel was built in 1927, full of allure, housing many famous women, such as, Cloris Leachmen, Joan Crawford and Gracy Kelly. I couldn’t believe it either. This was fate and I knew I was going in the right direction.

Cassie had been living there for the past couple of years after we graduated high school. She moved to New York to train as an artist. She had looked everywhere for a place and was told about the Barbizon. The rent was cheap and the neighborhood was ok. The only catch, it was a women’s only residence and I needed to make Donny, the hotel manager, believe I was female. I was living the real life version of ‘Bosom Buddies’.

Google it.

How was this going to happen? Luckily for me, Cassie had thought out everything. I was a bit of a late bloomer and had a baby face so that was an essential part. We sat in the car while she made me up. Then she pulled out one of her outfits and voila. I looked in the rear view and to be honest, I was kind of impressed with myself. But now for the real test. And with that, we took a deep breath and walked into the hotel.

Walking into the Barbizon wasn’t anything I imagined. It looked like it was on its way out, slightly broken down and all. But rent was cheap so we didn’t care. We walked towards the front desk to grab Cassie’s keys and there was Donny.

Donny, was a long time manager of the Barbizon Hotel. Tough as nails, five foot four and a great guy. He was “the protector” of the girls living there. A father figure. A man who had lived a hard life but understood how to be gentle and tough at the same time. This is due to the fact that he was a father to five of his own girls. He was perfect for the job and he loved it. One time, there was a girl who brought a guy back to the hotel. They were a little drunk and getting flirty with each other. They had to walk passed the front desk and Donny was on that shift. He stood up and stared the guy in the eyes. He approached him and pulled the guy aside, telling him if he were to hurt this girl in any way shape or form, he would not only hunt him down, but he would promise a death wish on anyone who crossed that line. The guy left immediately.

As we stood at the front desk, Donny stood up. I was sweating profusely. He gave Cassie a hug and walked over to me. He extended his hand happily and in my falsetto voice I introduced myself. I don’t exactly remember what happened but Cassie quickly pulled me into the elevator to head up to our room. Apparently, under pressure I was able to charm Donny, cracking jokes and all. She told me she hadn’t seen him laugh so hard in a long while and that he thought I should become a comedian.

We were home free.

After settling in our newly shared space, Cassie and I opened up a bottle of wine. I looked around the studio. There was a kitchen, bathroom, Murphy bed and a pet gold fish named Bubbles. I stared out the window with the sun shining down the light of glory into the busyness of New York city.

After the first bottle, we opened another over dinner, and chatted about the possibilities and the future. I needed a job fast. I just had no idea who would hire a novice software programmer.

In 1979, there a nine year old kid by the name of Jay Erlich. He was a computer genius and being interviewed for a documentary. This kid spoke in tongues. He talked about the future of computers and how so many people were misusing technology and he wanted to correct that. That kid inspired me to join the “Dawn of the Information Age”. I worked hard that summer saving up for a Commodore 64. It was the best thing I bought in 1979. I created my first poker game and eventually strip poker for those friends that wanted something kinkier. I was getting requests left and right. But none of these projects meant anything to me. I wanted something more. I needed to step up my game. I needed to stay open.

After dinner, we took a stroll around the city. New York at night is a beautiful experience. The lights and the city buzzing with energy. It also had its quirks. At the time, the city was dealing with street light and street sign vandalism. People were spray painting over ‘No Parking’ signs, making cardboard street signs because they were being stolen and the street lights only showed amber and red, so there were many accidents.

We saw one of these accidents happen because of the malfunctioning traffic lights. During the commotion, a guy called out to Cassie. It was one of her friends, Rick Rubin. He was on his way to CBGB’s. Since he had “extra tickets” he invited us to come along. Not hesistating, we agreed and the winds of time took us into another direction.

Rick was a very fascinating person. Deep and philosophical. He saw things in ways where normal people weren’t able to see. For instance, he talked about the power of nature and art and how if we can all channel ourselves and tune into the harmony of the planet, then art can highly benefit from that relationship. He was a true artist, fierce businessman and soulful philosopher. He also loved music.

We arrived at CBGB’s and the line was long. Rick went straight up to the front and fist bumped the bouncer. He waved to us and we followed him inside. The place was packed. Rick took us over to the bar and ordred us some drinks. We chit chatted and we got to know each other a little more. He asked me what I wanted to do and I explained that I was a computer programmer and I felt like I had something to offer the world. He mentioned that he was working on new sounds as a music producer but the technology wasn’t there yet for what he wanted to do. He loved experimenting with different genres and wanted to explore and push the boundaries of music. He asked if I would be able to maybe lend a hand in that. Not knowing what he was talking about, I just said yes.

Then the room darkened and the lights hit the stage. The music blasted through the speakers, and three guys walked out. The room was filled with energy and excitement. Nothing I’ve ever felt before. I realized this was a moment in history. This was my first exposure to the Beastie Boys. If you’ve ever seen them in a large concert venue, take all that and bring it into CGBG’s. The crowd was going wild and the place exploded. I was mesmerized. Rick pulled out a joint and passed it to Cassie and then me. I took a couple of hits. The music was loud. Cassie looked at me and smiled. That’s when it all kicked in. The energy of the crowd. The bright intense lights. The pulsation of the music. I drifted onto ‘Cloud 9’. Figuratively and literally. What happened next was unbelievable. Maybe it was the lack of air in the club, or some of that “New York weed” but I drifted into a dream state.

I found myself walking down a street aimlessly. I turned suddenly hearing someone whistling. I followed the whistling to a house. I went inside the house and followed the whistling upstairs into the bathroom. The lights were glowing with such a hue I thought I was about to enter heaven. Walking into the bathroom, I saw a man in the bathtub. I walked towards him as he turned around to look at me. It was me. He asked me to get closer. I leaned in and he whistled something that translated into a form of a question.

“What are you afraid of?”

I answered back, “Myself.”

He whistled again. “What are you going to do about it?”

I answered, “I’m going to change it.”

And I fell into the tub.

In reality, during that whole out of body experience, as Cassie smiled at me in the club, I blacked out and fainted, landing in a puddle of beer. When I woke up, I found myself on a couch, backstage. Cassie was tending to me. When I came to, Rick came over. He smirked and apologized for the strong substance. Smiling, I told Rick and Cassie I needed to get back to our place and rest. Sensing embarrassment, Rick offered a thought, that if we can channel this moment of negativity into something truly artistic then it has the potential of being therapeutic. Rick took down our number and made a promise he’d call to talk more about the future.

Cassie and I got back to hotel. She jumped in the shower and I sat on the couch staring out into the bright city night lights. Thinking about the evening and what my future would hold. I thought about my dream. What it meant. I took a swig of wine from the bottle that was sitting on the coffee table from earlier and just reflected, filled with uncertainty but excited. As Cassie came out of the bathroom she had this look on her face, still wet and naked from her shower. She held up a test tube.

Blue.

She was pregnant.